Once upon a time I wrote a poem with a strange scene in my head. When I look back at it now, I sometimes wish I could paint the scenes. We’re doing another original today. I hope you don’t mind. It’s just a bit of a twist to our usual routine. Thanks Dori Reads for hosting today’s Poetry Friday.
image source via
Children of the Forgotten Sun©
dancing eyes beckon
stepping forward with deliberate hesitation
i waltz with the wailing song of children–
like me, they once danced.
Every step burns flesh
engulfing slowly the innocence
that souls no longer know of
as they make through every second
of this vicious three-step
the hands hold tight my fingers,
turns gain speed
to a supernova
into particles–bursting hues
in every color of the light spectrum
and i drown in the vastness
and the echo of my last utterance
turn to a note in the wailing chorus
of the waltz.
Dancing eyes beckon—
the pied piper of the night’s
consciousness take hold
the listless children
of forgotten sun
I think I can take different paths in reading your poem, Iphigene. It can be about growing up, or hope for the future as we travel in our aging. I like “Every step burns flesh/engulfing slowly the innocence…” Interesting to read. The photo fits beautifully.
I like your interpretation and in many ways it is about growing up (maybe in a less hopeful tone). I recall thinking of this as seeing other children coming out and following the pied piper. I’m glad you liked the picture i chose. Took a while to find one that would fit. thanks again for always sharing your thoughts with us.
Iphigene, thanks for sharing an original poem with us. Your poem has a cinematic dreamlike quality to me. I agree with Linda that you did a good job choosing a photo to go with it.
Thanks for taking the time to comment on this poem. Cinematic? I love how you describe it as such as i think in pictures when i write poems (or when i listen to music), this is no exception. 🙂
Love your poem! 🙂 I really like “in every color of the light spectrum and i drown in the vastness of darkness”
Thanks! I’m glad you enjoyed that poem and glad you liked that line. 🙂
Thank you. It is melancholic for me, but that’s the beauty of poetry, the myriad of interpretations.
It is melancholic. As much as I think of it as growing up, it comes from a cynical/pessimistic perspective. This is an old poem and most of the poems i wrote sort of straddled the dark-melancholic fence. thanks for dropping by. 🙂
Thanks for sharing another original poem, Iphigene. This one definitely burns – it burns on its own and burns the reader. Powerful images and I also love the illustration you found.
Thanks for appreciating the original poem. Ah, i love your use of burn. I’m glad you found the images powerful. It’s not easy for me to put out my work. I won’t pretend to be good at poetry, but i’m glad to be able to get a few pats on the back for my efforts. thanks.
Wow. Powerful stuff here. I’m not sure if this is more about growing up, or about death (for me), but there is definitely a passage into the light and back out again into darkness…and a very haunting wail. **shivers**
Hi Mary Lee,
Your “wow” made me smile. The children of forgotten sun are to me children who have been pushed to the dark shadowy sections of society and i write this in the first person because i’ve been in that place before. I’m glad you picked up on the ‘haunted’ feel of this poem. Thanks Mary lee for taking the time to read this poem. 🙂
Iphigene, this is such an interesting poem. I, too was taken in different directions in reading. Such sad images juxtaposed with the dancing, the waltz that we would normally associate with joy and loveliness. So much to ponder here. Thanks for sharing.
I’m glad to hear that this poem is interesting. I wrote this with music in my head and the waltz slows down and given an eerie feel.The juxtaposition of these two moods I suppose delivers the story better…clearer.
Thanks for dropping by. 🙂
Pingback: August Round Up and the Winner for the AWB Reading Challenge «